My parents used to rent out a room.
It was the back room, the second largest after the master.
They rented it to a male college student. His girl came to "lived" in later on. I lepak a lot with them. Was the only child then. Need companions and friends to play with. Remember once I was playing in their room, they constantly pestered me to go out. Saying they need to study. It took me a while to give in. I'm a stubborn child. But come to think of it now, it must be a subject on Kamasutra.
The pair rented the room for a year or so. Never heard from them ever since. I always wonder what happened to them. Couldn't really remember their faces, but the only thing I can recall is the guy wear glasses, fair complexion, and the girl has a wavy, shoulder length hair.By now, they should be in their 50s.
Water heater is a luxury then. And the house only has one, which is in the bath of the master. The girlfriend has a "habit" of showering without closing the door. This is true. I bet she's expecting the boy to grope her, or have a quickie when he comes back. From the outside, the bathroom is secluded. Guests won't know if we didn't tell.
It was rather safe.
Can you read floor plan? The red cross is where the bath is.
One day when she's taking her shower, I went in to have a peek. I know what you are thinking. I'm still a child. Just curious. Okay? It wasn't long. She was facing the wall opposite the sink. Enjoying the hot stream. She's wet and a little soapy. I scanned her from head to toe. She then turned. And saw me. This is very new to me.
Another quick head to toe before I ran out.
"Mummy, mummy! Why jeje down there got grass?"
"What grass?" Mother was confused. Father's listening, even more confused.
"Black grass!"
She came out blushing. And got a lecture from my parents for not locking the door for the x number of times. I was sitting on the sofa watching TV. Being a child.
They seldom lock their room door too. One night, I popped my head in at the door. It wasn't that late. There were still Chinese dramas showing on TV. But the lights were already off. Their silhouettes were visible through the faint light bouncing off their bodies.
A little worried, I ran out.
"Mummy, mummy! Koko and jeje fighting! Jeje going up and down on him!"
Another lecture. Bad thing for them. Good thing for me. At least I'm exposed young. I was slightly over three then.
This is my room now.
Someone posted this vid on Facebook.
The woman in the Lexus was trying to reverse park. From the video, she took the whole two minutes to get her car in. Tried linking the video here, but you need to log on to view it. I try to Google it elsewhere. Found!.
Snapshot from Facebook. The guy at the top is not the one who shot this.
Look at the last comment.
Some logic first.
Don't quote me on this. It might have taken anyone a minute (?) before he or she would actually bring a camera out to shoot this. One plus two, from the actual video shot, that's three minutes. So, let's just put it that the woman took three minutes* to park her car.
Here's the thing.
It's not that I fancy this video so much I have to share it. But seriously. I'm. Very. Disappointed. Not at the woman. I'm not worried about her. Of him spending the whole *three minutes bitching about how bad the woman's driving skill is, he could have got down, use his own skills, to help five (?) similar auntie's. At least.
Besides the men, the 5th, 7th, 8th, and the 9th row are all women. Not only they did not say anything good to side the auntie, but joined the fun. Tsk, tsk, tsk. At least one of them mentioned something about lending a hand. Are all the women that said something there any better? Men are as bad a driver lah.
Tiger, you can only do so much?
No, no, no. I think I'll take out the question mark.
Sounds much better. If not the best.
I've been reading these stuffs recently. Which reminded me of my own experience dealing with such customers. Some made my day. A small portion almost make me stomp on their pathetic face.
This was long before I'm an advertising slave.
After having a one-year stint at Old School Art College, I was working odd jobs here and there. My first was doing part time with Factory's Apparel Shop at French Hypermarket near my place.
There was once on a slow day, a pair of cute couple in their 60s came in. Kinda short. And plump. There's always smile on their face. Which makes us smile even more. From their look and the way they speak, I can tell they are well educated and came from a well-to-do background.
"Hello! What can I do for both of you? Do you have anything in mind?"
"Just looking around." The uncle smiled, in Cantonese.
"If you need anything, I'll just be around." From then on, I speak Cantonese to them.
I continue to fold shirts, sort sizes, and reorganizing shirts that don't belong where I found them, before I lepak at the register with the store supervisor. Just then, I saw them looking at some winter jackets for quite some time; the most expensive pieces in the store.
Seldom people even touch them because of the price.
This is how our paycheck work. Besides the basic, there is also the commissions. Every staffs will get a small percentage from each piece sold no matter who sell it. But this only applies to full time staffs. Too bad I'm only doing part time. Salary counted by the hours. But selling that is something I'm gonna be proud of.
I quickly rushed to them.
"Uncle, why not you give it a try?"
I took a red down. And gave it to him. He eagerly slide his arms in the sleeves. The wifey at back adjusting the hood, while he zipping the front. It does suits his plump figure. Even cuter now.
Checking himself out at the mirror nearby.
"It looks nice on you, uncle."
"Hmm..." He then looked up at other colours.
"The green one not bad also eh?"
I look at it. Speechless.
"Erm... it's... blue?"
The aunty smiling at me cheekily. Poking fun at her own husband. He's wearing an orange tint spectacles. Which made the blue look yellowish green. He blushed, and didn't smile again for the rest of the time they were there.
Let's just say they didn't buy anything.
Who made this statement?
These happened some time back.
Not much of food choices around the Plaza. Most come in small portion, but big bill. So, Buddy and me made it at the mamak next block. Besides the goreng stuffs and rotis, the next best thing is the nasi campur. We grabbed our food and sat outside.
While we were halfway through our meal, I bit on something hard. I spat it out immediately. It bounced on the table towards Buddy. We looked at it. Stunned for while wondering. And had a good laugh.
I don't remember seeing an aquarium in here.
It was a white pebble. Slightly larger than jelly beans, hidden inside the non-kuah rice. Lucky the bite wasn't hard. I never finish the rice. Got a discount for that after "Aneh! Saya mana ada ambil ikan!" argument with the mamak who wrote us the bill.
Until today, I couldn't figure out where that came from?
Next day, we went back to the same place. Nah, a pebble won't kill, I thought.
We took the same thing. And sat at the same place outside. Wasn't so lucky like yesterday. I only had few munches this time. That's when I saw an unusual garnishing on the plate. I looked closer. And spat out whatever that I am halfway munching.
"FUCK!" Couldn't be bother if people were looking.
Gestured the Aneh to come over. Without saying a word, we looked at him while pointing at it with my "Apa macam?" pissed look. He apologized a few times and took the rice away. And asked nicely to order another food. So I did; Indomee kosong double with telur mata on top.
I checked carefully this time. But I still couldn't finish it thinking about the roach leg earlier. There goes my appetite. I skipped dinner on that day too. And I wondered who ate the rest of the body.
Two days I couldn't finish my lunch. Two. Fucking. Days. In a row.
What could be worst?
For the truck.
Saw these while I'm on my way back the other day.
What is the dewan bandaraya doing with them? Is there really a need to rear horses? Ride them to write saman ar? To illegally parked golf carts? Or sweep the street à la polo style? At least there is something different to see while being stuck in the same traffic, on the same road.
Tried searching their portal rasmi about the horses, for any upcoming annual events that involve the horses, or any equestrian competition of some sort.
"Server not found" Just as I expected.
Tried again before posting this. Wow! That. Is. Slow. Fuck it.
I was tailgated this morning.
But why would a R34 GTR cucuk a Slow White Poke like mine? Wait... where's the sound lah? Why the car look somewhat... smaller? When it came to my side, I almost shit in my pants.
Only managed to snapped the back. Look carefully.
What do we call this? A WajaR, or a GTja? Did I mention it has a big ass "NISMO" intercooler at the front that work as an art piece? You guessed it. It's a non-turbo. The intercooler is just a deco. Oh, it's an auto, too.
The amount of money he spent on the bodywork will actually make him go faster if he know where to put it. Faster than this... this... thing here. Really gives me the shiver.
I'm no where close to his league.
It has been two days the office is offline.
It wasn't the Macs and PCs. The routers and modem are fine. Not the cables and land line either. After been thrown around by the ISP (you know who), what shocked us is that they said we didn't pay the "multimedia" bill for almost a year.
What!? Biar betul?
We shifted nearly a year ago. The bill, was sent to the old office. Apparently someone forgot to change address. Hence, our connection has been deactivated. Aren't whatever bills that got to do with the "land line" suppose to be in one bill?
These two days got me thinking; what was before the internet?
Nothing.
Did we rely too much on it?
I'm always "online" if I'm awake. At home or office. I logged on full time to chat, occasionally on social networking site, aside from surfing porns stimulating the creative juice, and other work-related research.
I can live without it when I'm outside.
"Internet" wasn't introduced to me until the mid 90s. And I've only got my own line when I started college. After so many years, there is nothing left to surf. But I still frowned at bad connection.
If I'm in front of the computer. Doing nothing.
Give these simple things a ponder:
Can you live without handphone?
Can you still drive with manual transmission?
Can you sleep without the air-cond?
Was these habit? Have we became too dependent on them? Or that we are too used to them, they became an addiction?
There will be a point when technology ceased to advance. What's next when the LCD is paper thin? Is there a term call highest definition? How small would you want your handphone to be when it's already one cell size and implanted in your body? So why bother?
Technology is suppose to improves our lives. Don't let technology made us.
But tell me how.
Hope tomorrow is not the third day.
"You gay!"
I got this a lot. If so happen Once a Turbo was lepak-ing at my house, and he saw me in front of the mirror. But seriously, what is wrong with guys who groom? Yes. I pluck my brow.
Does that make me gay?
Let's start with things that guys won't "normally" do, that I did.
I have stud on my left lobe. I shaves my pubic. I bought sanitary pads. I chose/bought lingerie. I had nail polish on. I washed panties and bras before. I wore panties before. I cling on guys arm, or the other way round.
Lot's of guys have piercings. No? Just that I'm not to the extreme of getting it on my nipples or penis. Some pakcik/makcik will stared at me with their "Budak ni jantan ke betina?" look. I get worst from Chinese. There's a saying that pierced males are for those who can't live through young age.
What is wrong with shaving the pubic? If I'm lazy, I just shave the sides and trim the front. Girls shave to feel sexy. Me the same. Girls have bikini lines. I don't want them poking out from the sides too. It's cleaner. It's neater. It looks bigger.
Some guys are against buying sanitary pads. With their pantang larang and other bullshits. Let's just say when your girls are sick, you still wanna drag her out? Let them rest lah. Please. Get the brand, drive to the nearest 7 Eleven, grab, pay, and go. Grab some drinks, some snacks, Durex, or Marlboro on your way out.
Some guys shyly waited for their girls in front of the lingerie shop. Go in only to pay. Look, she still gonna wear it in front of you. For you. Go in and choose something you like. I would willingly choose with my girls. Forcefully preferably go in the fitting room together.
Some girls uses their guys as a white mice for nail polish. An ex does that. I'm okay with that, seriously. I just let it washes off by themselves. Or let the girls wash it for me. Feeling their fingers running around mine. It's half massage. Isn't that nice?
Another pantang larang for washing bras and panties. You can pull them off during sex. I'm sure some sniff them too. I do. But you can't wash them? Is that an excuse? What about them washing yours? You'll get to know what size are they wearing, if you don't already. Or notice any heavier unwashed discharge. It could be cervical cancer. You might wanna bring them to a gynae.
No! I wear panties not without the knowledge of my girls. I wear them on "request". You know, sometimes been doing the same thing, just wanna be a little adventurous. Just wanna feel naughtier during foreplay. Nothing is wrong with that. The sex feels different. Trust me.
Once, we were window shopping. Fun Size saw some girls holding their hands together. She cringed at the thought of guys who hold hands. Just for the fun of it, Since Primary Two immediately wrapped his arm around mine. To further provoke her, with added value, he grabbed my butt. We looked at her and said, "So?".
What these made me? Is there a term call "monotype"? I can't say I'm not. There are things that I'm "against" too. Maybe later.
Buddy made this and mailed it over the week before.
How nice of him.
Art director and copywriter work as a team. Looking for the other half is like looking for a life partner. It's not easy. It's never easy. This sounded gay, but it is so true.
You'll be spending most of the time with this person at work. At breakfast, lunch, dinner, supper, or any other meals in between. At job briefs, discussions, or meetings. How he or she writes will affect the outcomes of your visuals. How you came out with a visual will affect the writing style.
There will be times when one disagree with the other. Both need to work things out, compromise to a solution where both are comfortable with. Or "simply", give in to the other. It's a very mutual relationship thing.
I met Buddy on my fourth year.
We clicked right away. Very passionate about his works; though, he's a writer, he looked into the art side of it. Just the value I'm looking for; I expect my writer to tell what is wrong with my visuals, and criticize me. He sketches well, too! There are personal lives beyond advertising that we talked about all the time.
The copywriters I met before him don't show a single at least some trait in these.
He got an offer from Red Apple Black Pencil to work with them after a couple of promising interviews. I was very upset when I heard this, to be honest. But as his partner, I encouraged him to take the offer, and fully supported him. The prospect over there is way better than where we're working.
Though, the period of time we worked together isn't long, but I missed that already. I really do.
Hope we'll team up again one day, Buddy.
You still owe me a meal of your home made pizza!
"I think... I'm lost."
I almost fainted. She don't like them? I thought.
"I'm near the place you brought me last time. How do I get to Jalan Ampang?"
Cheh!
She wasn't in the office when they reached. I was worried. I called her back just to make sure.
"Are you going in the office later?" It was almost 6.
"No. Why?"
"Er... nothing. Just asking. How about tomorrow?"
"Yeah, should be. Why?"
"Nothing lah. Just... go in the office, okay?" Afraid they might not make it until the next day.
"Why? What you did!?"
"Nothing! You'll know when you get in tomorrow. Just go in." Trying hard not to spoil it.
"...Okay?..."
We both laughed. Tak boleh tahan.
"Wei!" Zoky called early in the morning.
They did their magic!
