"It's Me!"

When you got a call from an apparent friend, who never contacted you in years, it could only be one of the variation below:

1. To sell.

2. To borrow.

3. (Just) to catch up.

To sell - Most of these apparent friends are in this group. They come in a form of a sales(wo)man, agent, a member of the said-company-that-produced-the-item-that-s/he's-about-to-sell-you, and the like. The products are usually MLM-related, insurance or fund, and financial-related.

To borrow - Relatives dominated this group. You may or may not heard, or seen them before. Never visit your home, let alone stepping an inch at your front door. The only thing that these group of people borrow is money.

(Just) to catch up - An urban legend.

By now, you should have guessed I got a call from one of these friends.

"Hey, Birthmark!"


"It's [Me]."

"[Me] who?"

"[Me Myself] lah, from Old School Art College."

"[Me Myself]?... (I thought for a while) Oh!... Hey, what's up?"

"Make yourself free on [date]. Having my wedding dinner reception then."

"I'm not sure if I can attend."

Can't commit. I'm an adman. Remember?

"Are you free next week?"

"Not on weekdays. Weekends should be fine."

"We'll meet up then. I'll pass you the invitation. But anyway, if you can't make it next week it's okay. But on my day, you must come! Try your best, okay?"

"Well, I'll try."

"No more friendship if you didn't show up!"

He's joking. Just to make the conversation warmer and friendlier. Some quick seconds before we hang up.

The last I seen him was back at my college day. That was almost ten years ago. We briefly met up after that for some drinks along with other friends. How many times was that? Not even a handful. Fingerful, if this term exist. And that was it. We never met or call each other after that. Not even chatting online. Only recently he found me in The Social Network.

Since when he got an English name ar? Look at how distant are we.

We refer the wedding invitation as The Red Bomb. It comes in a red envelope mah. Even if it's a no-show, we are to pay a discounted rate. Half from the market price. If you decide to bring a partner (strongly not recommended), doubled.

The Red Bomb are given to (all) relatives of both side of the bride and groom. Compulsory. The handful of friends who you hang out with. Colleagues who you work directly with. "Friends" here I refer to as those you see almost every other day - the bros and sis, the close ones. Colleagues are optional.

Which one I'm in again?

After years of silence, called me in the middle of my brain juicing moment and expect me to nod?

Would putting him into the To Sell group appropriate?

And I'm not going.


When it's still pink

Half of our topics are food related.

Diam-Diam is not fat. Not even close. She's the kind with a well built frame. Athletic curves - she's into kickboxing. Tall, for a girl. Big bones. And has a huge pair of ti... hands. They were as big as mine! Measuring it against the manhood, I thought, it really questions the ego. And I wonder, how big his boy's was to compensate.

The Pink Ice-cream is having a promo. Every Wednesday, if you wear or bring anything pink to any of the outlet, you'll get a discount or some sort. Excitedly, she was selling this to me the whole day. So, I did a body search. Looking around my desk for anything pink. And I thought I have something in that hue. Where are they lah?

Thought I was desperately looking for one, she slide her chair near me and put her nail polish on my table. Volunteered to give a manicure session for me. I thought for a while.

I told her why not I storm to the counter. Lift my shirt. Unbuckle. Pull my pants. Slide my underwear. And shout...

"Quick, quick! Before it turns hard and red!"

We had a good laugh.

Not a fan of it though.


Shots of Vitamin C

One of the many last minute plan. For being too bored on a Saturday night. Forked out 5 bucks each for that couple of hours spent in the parking being an amateur photographer. At least it's something... productive?


Milk poisoning, petrol intoxication

It's always been you two.

What about
The Bank? What about The Credit Card? Not to forget The Soft Drink. Juice. Ice-cream. Yogurt. Have I left out The Toothbrush? The Toothpaste? The Shower Foam? And The Hair Gel?

The Cosmetic? The Car? The Cinema? The Apartment? The Trade Agency? How I had wished...

Milk. Petrol. Milk... petrol... you've been occupying most of my time.

Don't I wish to queue in a bank too? Or online banking like everyone else? I swipe cards. I wouldn't mind having diabetic soft drinks every now and then. Or engulf in the artificial
freshness of a juice. Oh, that rich and creamy ice-cream. That taste buds stimulating yogurt. You only live once. I sleep with minty breath. And wake up still smelling like a baby. I do my hair if I'm out.

I wouldn't mind a little lip balm. I like cars. I love cars. Look at what I did to Slow White Poke. I enjoy watching movies on a big screen. If I'm with someone I'm fond of. I dream of resting my feet on a coffee table in studio suite. On a non working day. Trading? That would come in handy one day.

So, get out of the way. Don't jammed me up.

It's time to milk the petrol dry. And loose guard patrolling the dairy.

Yeah. Just back from work. At least I
managed to sneak out for dinner and a couple of beers with Zoky earlier.

Good night, and good morning, people.

Whichever deem fits.