The piggy bank

It's really a pig. No, I'm serious.

She even has a name. Again, I'm serious.

Bought it with an ex during the Year of Pig. There are 3 sizes. We opt for the largest - twice larger than average melons. We named her PiPi. Explanation upon selected request only. Request form at the bottom, 30 working days to reply.

We treated it like a "baby". It was so serious to a point, she warned me if any one of us broke it, we are through. Embarrassing stories. I'm blushing even by just thinking of it.

I got the custody when we part ways. PiPi was so well fed, we can't even nudge it. And that's only halfway. What's more, she was placed at the top of the wardrobe. Moving her would not be practical.

When we started, it was with random coins. After a while, we thought smaller amount don't make much difference - we decided to put in only 50 sen coins.

Five years later... *voice over by Morgan Freeman*

The coins were popping out the slot. And that was early of the year. Decided to change it before Bank Negara say the old coins cannot be used any more. Remember our MYR1 gold coins?

It's even harder to move it now. Moreover, to bring it down. Carrying it over the shoulder - though I'm not good in gauging weights - it definitely feels like carrying a bag of rice. It may sounds fun, but I have no intention to break the piggy bank - I still wanna use it for the new 50 sen coins...

It was so heavy and densed, it broke upon arrival on the mattress. The weight crushed the bottom of the ceramic into powdery substance.

The first night, I stopped at 500. All 50 sen. Sis helped me with the rest. After day 3, I have over a thousand Ringgit.



Mindfucked chat

Remember my friend, Lei San San?

Besides annoying me with her "questions", another level of her mental torture are the random changes of topic. So fast and prompt, yet looked relevant at first.

We were chatting in Facebook the other day. She was stuck with the template in eBay.

"I still have no idea how to use eBay."

"Explore slowly lah..."

"Have to lor! But if I still don't know, can I ask you?"

"Er... I don't even know anything about eBay. I can't help much..."

"I mean, I will use Adobe to do the layout. If I still don't know, I'll ask you."

Oh! So she's asking about Adobe lah! Then this came right after.

"I send photo to you, okay?"

"Er... okay?"

She sent it through Whatsapp while still chatting in Facebook. So, I guess I'll have to transfer the photo from my phone to the computer before I can do any touch up?

"I got that. What you want me to help with?"

Oh! She just wanna share her baby's photo lah...

Really? I mean, really?


Chat emotion

The most commonly overused, sometimes, abused term on the Internet is "LOL". To those of you who still doesn't know what LOL is, you have my 5 minutes of silence. May you rest in peace.

LOL. Laugh out loud.

Yeah, right. How often do we actually made a single decibel when you typed that? Okay, okay! I'm guilty as charged.

I've never used "LOL". Mine was "hehe", and "haha". But the lips are as flat as the horizon. If they goes beyond the second "he" and "ha", I started smiling. With luck, might see some teeth and jerks.

The times when I actually "laugh out loud", with sound, I don't bother to type because I just can't. I'll make sure to enjoy the joke first, settle my cramps, and wipe my tears, if any. I'll shoot a random "hAhAhAHHAhhAhhA" to the joker after. Out of manners and courtesy lah.

It's hard to gauge what the person on the other end feels at times.

"Fuck you lah."

Cursing is common, off- and online. Up to a point the fucks doesn't make any difference at all. Take the above as an example, and interpret it into, say, Malay. It's more like, "Pantatmu~" for all we know. The tilde is there to give it a whimsical tone. How about Cantonese? It could be something along the line of, "Diu nei, mm koi~". So good manners. Tilde for the same effect.

If you are angry, tell me lah. I can't see you. I can't listen to you. Let me know. Stress your angerrrrr. Yes, that's right. Stress it!

"Fuck you lahhhhh!"

With exclamation, if you will!

Talking about punctuation marks, I have a friend who... how should I put it? Rather lazy to press the Shift button and question mark. As if that extra press will uses up most of her energy and strains her muscle. What really annoys me the most when talking to Lei San San is the one-liners. Please note that she came to me.


"Oh, okay..."


"Er... okay..."

"I didn't go work today"


What are you trying to tell me!? Wait...

Oh! Who would have thought she was actually asking if I'm working and busy!? I've lost count how many times I was mindfucked. And for that many times, I've scolded her.

She is still, the same. Epic.