Since my last, failed relationship of five, reaching six years, I decided not to rush into them, blindly. Take the time to know the girl better before I commit. Maybe I was being too cautious in this, I overdid it. Unknowingly to me. Can't deny I've met new female friends since, but there is something missing in them. Seriously. That thing we call, the chemicals. That little sparks.
Until I met her.
Days before we left for Phuket, Zoky and I had some talk. About "us". I have never said a thing, but she knew. She noticed the things that I've did. But chose not to go further. She felt the pressure. Respected her. I, reluctantly backed off. Fortunately, there's not a slight awkwardness in us during the whole trip.
She's still the Zoky I knew. I am still me.
The last couple of days before the trip ends, there's something noticeably different in her. I'm not hoping for any miracles. Really. But the way she talked. Smiled. Giggled. And the way she steal glances at me. They were more intimate. More affectionate. More dear. It was very warm. I'm really confused. Wished I knew what's in her mind.
Not gonna think of them for now.
All these years, I was hoping so hard to land my feet in big shops, or the very least, hot shops. I've even dreamed of it. I rarely dreams in my sleep, but I did. Of me working on big accounts, and winning awards on them. I woke up smiling, being upset the next. Knowing I am not in one.
I wont be seeing the sun when I knock off. There wont be days or nights. I'll be working through consecutive nights. Only to go home to bathe and get new fresh clothes. I know. And I knew. But I'm not even afraid. Not a single sight of them. Now, I've finally got it. Finally having given a chance. To break away from the norm. To squeeze my brain juice in good use. To use what I've picked up throughout the years in a real, advertising world.
What else is there for me to expect? I have yet to find out.
But, come lah! Kasi sama dia!