License to kill


I was having my puffs at the secret base.

Cat Eyes came in. She was on the phone. Apparently, with someone from the event management. Trying to mind my own business, not to eavesdrop. Daydreaming. Yawning.

She hung up after some time. Finally.

"You have ciggy?"

"Yeah... (offering her)"

"What brand is this? Manchester!?"

"Yeah... for emergency. I don't have ciggy at home. I took my mum's."

"Your mum smokes!?"

"So is my dad. He quit for years now."

"So... you have license 'dy?"

How old am I? Of course I do.

Though my folks smoke, but they are against us to pick up smoking.

I got my license from Mother through bribery.

There was once when her crave kicks in. But she don't have any with her. She came and asked for one. Wait. Before I go any further, I must stress that I was caught by her a number of times before. She "knew" I smoke.

"You have cigarette?"

"... er... yeah... (handing her one)"

"Expensive cigarette, eh?"

"So... are you gonna tell Dad? (Before she could say anything)... Better not. Next time when you're out of stock, at least you can take mine!"

She gave me that look. Quick thinking kan? Opportunities like these must kasi grab punya! I'm a late teen then.

Getting one from Father isn't easy. Took me some years through hard earned, ear-drums-exploding effort experience. His ratio of catching me as compare to Mother was a 1-to-5. Where every 1 time Mother caught me, he did 5 times.
Mother's was through discovery or exploration of my room. He's good! Or pure lucky.

Not only he caught me, but catches me red handed all the time. With a ciggy in my mouth. Or visibly with the burning, bright red tip. At least holding one. From mamak, to public toilet at the place where I'm doing part time, to dropping it off my pants in front of him at Cindy's. Everywhere.

The mamak's was a classic.

I skipped school. Still with uniform. I was there with Since Primary Two, and Pilot 4+2. It was my first stick of the day. Just as I was about to put the bud at my lips, he came in! What the hell!? I really didn't expect that! He's back from work early! Of all days! Seriously...

I turned pale. Lost weight and size right there and then (as claimed by my bros).

He sat down. Ordered a chapati and teh tarik. Gave me a scolding while having his late lunch. My bros left after a while. They kena from him too. I'll spare the details of what happened next.

The "chapati / teh tarik" was made an inside joke up to now.

After many, many years, I was given the license. For free!

I took a 2-week event job up north in Penang. It was my "first" driving-alone-long-distant. So he tag along. And take the opportunity to visit Cindy too while I was there. We left near the wee hours. On the way there...

"If you're tired... sotp the car... tkae smoe rset... have a smoke... hvae a laek... wsah yuor fcae..."


I was in selective hearings.

There you go. Two different ones.

Looking at the experience I had, don't you agree it's similar to dealing with the G? If you know what I mean.

Bila orang nak, kena kopi.

Bila orang tak mintak, die die dia kasi.


  1. he's probably the 'oh u can smoke, but not wit my money laaaaa' type.

    smoke. but make sure u bought ur own undies.

  2. Yes, Tea. I assumed he was in that mindset.

    Now, occasionally he would asked me to stop as he proudly did without having to go cold turkey. Good will power I must say. Which... I don't have for now.