I let go. Again.

Met Banana today.

She looked exactly the same the last I saw her more than a year ago. Skinny body frame; almost too skinny to have the front and back visible through the loose black dress. Long straight hair. Indistinct voice and laugh (Har!? What? Speak louder la, please!). Same old, same old. Oh, took off the braces already?

She suggested a Thai restaurant nearby. As usual, the makan-minum-ing and other catching ups came along. After enjoying devouring the last piece of pandan chicken, I suggested to have some coffee instead of scaling the mall. "Too lazy to walk la after makan."

There's a lot to talk about. Hopefully not to miss out what had changed in this year. Being a very close friend to Her and me, she's very concerned.

"Have you let Her go? Fully?"

I knew this gonna come. I knew I can't get away from this. Just when.


Back then, I thought I let Her go already; after spending the night looking at each photos taken throughout the years; wetting my cheeks; laughing, and smiling at each; archiving them. Over the year, I kept telling myself, I had let go. Each time I said that, there's a sharp pain deep inside.

For the first time, I've answered this again.

Without telling just to myself.
Without doubt.


  1. the feeling is so familiar.

    p/s: i'm having a reading marathon on yours

  2. Yeah... have we all not went through this one way or another?

    Aik... I thought you've marathon-ed some time back? But it's good to hear that, Dim.

  3. Tengah tak ada kerja so I baca your earlier post. Hari tu I baca recent ones aje :P

  4. Dim,

    How nice! Enjoy it while you can, before works start piling up again.

    Me on the other hand, have been going through late nights at work. Knocking off at 2, 3 in the morning is a normal thing this week. What to do... kena rush off all the works before going for CNY leaves.