Unofficial Dear Mr. Client

It's good for you to have your off day. Which is a luxury to us.

It's sweet of you to accompany your missus for shopping. Which for days we don't even catch a glimpse of our love ones.

It's nice of you to dropped by the office, and brought us donuts. Which sometimes we don't even have a second spare to munch.

But it's very, very rude of you to barged in without prior informing any of us. You are not from the health department. You are not from the anti-piracy. This is not a school. Neither is a university. We don't need spot check. Evolution tells us we have the capability to communicate. Alex invented the telephone for that reason.

This is a privately owned office premise. Our office. Our agency. Which is fully owned by the largest global advertising holdings. You are not a shareholder. You are not a staff. This is not a public area. Neither is a restroom. Trespasser will not be shot. But will be taken legal actions. Heavily.

The mall is downstairs. There is also another one nearby. If you lost your wife, information counter would be glad to lend their intercoms. If walking is not your thing, there are benches. There are toilets. So are restaurants. So are cafes. Even cinemas. And there are plenty of things you could do. Or imagine doing.

Two campaigns, and two promos with multitude items are fairly impossible to be changed with just a single click. Not with keystrokes. Not with shortcuts. Not even with both divisions combined. We are an international agency. We have other accounts as big. If not bigger.

We will not start work from scribbles on the printed presentation deck. Not with verbal briefing. Not without an official stamped and
signed job req. This is what we called the "black and white". We have a system. Which can be broken under very, very special and rare conditions. Yours, is not.

We are pleased that you are aware of the production deadline. But we are not pleased for the number of times you requested for "non-conventional" ideas. Which ended up as a bunch of things that everyone would flip away. Along with 250 ads in a dailies. Average. From different advertisers.

Never abuse words like "idea" and "concept". Leave it to us. The marketers. The creatives. Don't waste our time. Don't waste your time. By you constantly abused such terms, we have lost half of it.

When we agreed to omit the rest, and work on the key items, don't come telling us you have something new in mind. Not when we are almost done with them. Especially not with assumptions. We understand the term of pleasing your boss. If you aren't sure, a discussion with him is best. First.
We knew you are in-charged of these projects. But he have the final say. Not you.

Customer is always right. You are not a customer. You don't buy products from us. You don't buy services from us. We are a business partner. We offer them. For your marketing and advertising need.

We are not prostitutes. We are not here to please you.

Thank you. But no thanks.

Speaking on behalf of my team. Other team. The agency. And other agencies.

Yours truly.


  1. Remind him that a business partner ain't a boss or superior hence the term partner coz you're both of equal status of a business venture.

  2. Lizzy,

    That's the thing lor... sigh.