The piggy bank

It's really a pig. No, I'm serious.

She even has a name. Again, I'm serious.

Bought it with an ex during the Year of Pig. There are 3 sizes. We opt for the largest - twice larger than average melons. We named her PiPi. Explanation upon selected request only. Request form at the bottom, 30 working days to reply.

We treated it like a "baby". It was so serious to a point, she warned me if any one of us broke it, we are through. Embarrassing stories. I'm blushing even by just thinking of it.

I got the custody when we part ways. PiPi was so well fed, we can't even nudge it. And that's only halfway. What's more, she was placed at the top of the wardrobe. Moving her would not be practical.

When we started, it was with random coins. After a while, we thought smaller amount don't make much difference - we decided to put in only 50 sen coins.










Five years later... *voice over by Morgan Freeman*



The coins were popping out the slot. And that was early of the year. Decided to change it before Bank Negara say the old coins cannot be used any more. Remember our MYR1 gold coins?

It's even harder to move it now. Moreover, to bring it down. Carrying it over the shoulder - though I'm not good in gauging weights - it definitely feels like carrying a bag of rice. It may sounds fun, but I have no intention to break the piggy bank - I still wanna use it for the new 50 sen coins...

It was so heavy and densed, it broke upon arrival on the mattress. The weight crushed the bottom of the ceramic into powdery substance.

The first night, I stopped at 500. All 50 sen. Sis helped me with the rest. After day 3, I have over a thousand Ringgit.

R-I-P-PiPi.

Mindfucked chat

Remember my friend, Lei San San?

Besides annoying me with her "questions", another level of her mental torture are the random changes of topic. So fast and prompt, yet looked relevant at first.

We were chatting in Facebook the other day. She was stuck with the template in eBay.



"I still have no idea how to use eBay."

"Explore slowly lah..."

"Have to lor! But if I still don't know, can I ask you?"

"Er... I don't even know anything about eBay. I can't help much..."

"I mean, I will use Adobe to do the layout. If I still don't know, I'll ask you."



Oh! So she's asking about Adobe lah! Then this came right after.



"I send photo to you, okay?"

"Er... okay?"



She sent it through Whatsapp while still chatting in Facebook. So, I guess I'll have to transfer the photo from my phone to the computer before I can do any touch up?



"I got that. What you want me to help with?"



Oh! She just wanna share her baby's photo lah...

Really? I mean, really?

Chat emotion

The most commonly overused, sometimes, abused term on the Internet is "LOL". To those of you who still doesn't know what LOL is, you have my 5 minutes of silence. May you rest in peace.

LOL. Laugh out loud.

Yeah, right. How often do we actually made a single decibel when you typed that? Okay, okay! I'm guilty as charged.

I've never used "LOL". Mine was "hehe", and "haha". But the lips are as flat as the horizon. If they goes beyond the second "he" and "ha", I started smiling. With luck, might see some teeth and jerks.

The times when I actually "laugh out loud", with sound, I don't bother to type because I just can't. I'll make sure to enjoy the joke first, settle my cramps, and wipe my tears, if any. I'll shoot a random "hAhAhAHHAhhAhhA" to the joker after. Out of manners and courtesy lah.

It's hard to gauge what the person on the other end feels at times.



"Fuck you lah."



Cursing is common, off- and online. Up to a point the fucks doesn't make any difference at all. Take the above as an example, and interpret it into, say, Malay. It's more like, "Pantatmu~" for all we know. The tilde is there to give it a whimsical tone. How about Cantonese? It could be something along the line of, "Diu nei, mm koi~". So good manners. Tilde for the same effect.

If you are angry, tell me lah. I can't see you. I can't listen to you. Let me know. Stress your angerrrrr. Yes, that's right. Stress it!



"Fuck you lahhhhh!"



With exclamation, if you will!

Talking about punctuation marks, I have a friend who... how should I put it? Rather lazy to press the Shift button and question mark. As if that extra press will uses up most of her energy and strains her muscle. What really annoys me the most when talking to Lei San San is the one-liners. Please note that she came to me.



"Working"

"Oh, okay..."

"Busy"

"Er... okay..."

"I didn't go work today"

"Huh!?"



What are you trying to tell me!? Wait...

Oh! Who would have thought she was actually asking if I'm working and busy!? I've lost count how many times I was mindfucked. And for that many times, I've scolded her.

She is still, the same. Epic.

Ber-Tenaga

Finally, it's all done.

I'm the proud owner of The Home. Mortgage another story lah, of course.

That aside, I'm actually impressed at the professionalism of Tenaga.

No. That was not sarcasm, really.

If you agree, one could loudly say the professionalism in government (linked) departments is a myth - the tidak apa attitude. But after what I have experienced today, it's not an urban legend after all.

Armed with hope, and all required duplicates and forms-filled, we went to the counter only to be disappointed by a system down, halfway processing the transfer. We left the building with a pout and frown.

Barely 5 minutes of driving away from that area, the same staff called. Twice! I missed the first one.



"Our system is back online! You can come back and finished it!"

If you agree again, even if the system is back on, they wouldn't bother to call. Not stereotyping, but true story.

Thumbs up to Ahmad Fazira, if I got the name right. +1 to Tenaga KL-Utara, Sunway Technology Park. And thank you so much for calling back.

On a separate note, I noticed the staffs here are of younger generations. Attentive, and very proactive. Most importantly, also speaks fluent English.

Though good things like these rarely happen, it's worth a pen.

Let this be a record in the Internet.

There is still hope.

Mad Valley

Recently they blocked the road at the south for the construction of don't-know-what-eco-fuck mall and/or an exhibition hall.

Huge diversion of traffic coming in and out of the ring. For those who are not working here, big confusion as they are hesitant in a life-death situation of should-I-turn-or-go-straight moment. That split second creates a wave effect all the way to the adjacent roads around the area.

Monday, like the title suggests, madness! Mad-madness! It was pouring almost the whole day too.

Half an hour into the crawl, I called up Handsome who an hour earlier asked if I wanna have a dinner / drink as he's stuck in the parking - I declined, my bad. Thought the traffic will be better when I leave later - he has just left the barrier at the exit. I then called As Long As Her. She already tak tahan, and went back in the mall.

It took me almost an hour.

An hour from level 6 to level 4A! The ramp of 4A that is. The ramp to level 4 is just a couple of cars away. I can almost smell the paint on the wall of level 4. Almost.

I swerved out the line and park at the first spot I see. Met As Long As Her at Kim and have a drink, while looking at the almost non-moving line of cars.

We left after 9.30-ish.

Some observations throughout the week.

Tuesday. Where is the traffic? Nice!

Wednesday. What is wrong again!? Even worst! People from G and H aren't allow to move over to the Gardens side of the traffic. One, big round to get to wherever you wanted to go. Glad to have stayed up at the office, looking down at the ants.

Thursday. Where the fuck is the traffic? Is there some sort of a game they are playing on us?

Friday. Too drunk to even bother.

For those of you who wants to come over to shop, don't!

It's a trap in here.

Cannot be

"Eh, bro. I gotta go up for a while. Copy check. Be right back."

" 'kay, man."



I continued to chat with the headhunter.

Yes. Half a Macha and yours truly met up with an agent from a reputable, industry talent agency. They dug my details online weeks ago. We've been so caught up with campaigns back to back, haven't got the time to even breathe until now.

I referred him as my partner. To go as team. The interview was not so much of which big boys has opening, but more of an initial get-to-know. First impression thingy lah.

Half a Macha came back not long after.



"Hey, bro! Mama-san wants to see you!"

"Oh, shit..."






























An hour later, I'm back at my cube with a noticeable crescent. I can see Half a Macha's teeth clearly piercing through the dim lights. 12.5 increment for me. Gonna update our salary to the headhunter soon. Anyhow, it's still can not justified the works we have done these couple of years.

We nodded and catch a beer at the end of day. We are still dreaming if we get to step a foot in Brother & Brother abroad.

But did my boss know something's up?

Pure coincidence lah kan?

I'll be (s)watching you

I got my first Swatch 25 years ago. It was a gift from Father.

1987 was also the year I stepped into school. It has been a good companion throughout my primary days. Not to mention, the bragging rights and attention I(t) got - numberless watches are rare then, at least in my memory. Even I can't tell the time correctly. And look at the design. It's in during the mid-80s. No?

Not until recently I found out it's a ladies!

Talking 'bout the mid-midlife crisis, eh? Remember me being a "talent"? Retrostalgia strikes again. I've been searching for it...

I went to collect my Tissot at the Swatch Group this morning before heading to work. The auto-wind went cuckoo recently. Have to masuk kilang a couple of weeks lah. Since I'm there, I asked if they still make old models of Swatches, or had them stored anywhere. Just hoping high lah.

Attractive Attentive Malay lady, by the way. Hmm...

Anyway, they don't.

Swatch only make limited numbers of the same model. Even if you're looking to replace the strap on an older models, it's impossible. Unless you wouldn't mind changing to other strap designs.

Yes. I did write an email to Swatch. Thank you for asking. They tak layan me lah. I have yet to hear from them. I used my work mail, you know? Very professional on my side.

What happened to mine? They are disposable accessories, as quoted in Wiki. It breaks down. The strap snapped. The battery leaked. It turned yellow. Yes! The body is still in this house somewhere the last I saw it!

I guess some things are meant to be carved in memory. But no harm trying, right? I'll bug them again like how I bugged Brand's.

And there's no prize for guessing my age.

Poker face

"Eh... is that a tattoo on your neck?"

"Yeah! It's been weeks."

"I'd always wanted to ask, but just wasn't sure."

"It's a self-reminder, Aunty."

"What's the meaning?"

"Remind myself to be more vocal. To express more."

"Good! Agree! You should!"



Aunty K, being the motherly figure of her, telling me just that. And begins a warm lecture for me to open up. Am I that introvert a person!? Am I that not expressive!?

*Poker face*

I shouldn't be doing advertising!

Las Vegas, here I come!

Inked

It's a on-and-off kinda steam lah.

The thing is, I don't know what I wanted.



My name? Every other person is doing it.

Tribal? Nah. Pilot 4+2 did a modernised tribal on his arm - angular as opposed to the organically shaped ones. That would be nice, if it's big.

I love Yakuza's. Only if it's sleeved. I don't want that huge of an art. Not just yet?

I like Iban's floral patches too. But I was told you need their permissions to do that. Or you'll be head-hunted. Thank you for that.

Bar codes are dated then. So I thought of QR code. But what should I link it to? My Facebook? My portfolio? Or my number? AR code is totally out of the question. Maintaining an AR engine is expensive. This kinda "code" tats will have the same fate as the bar codes later.

Here's an interesting video of a guy who did a QR code tat linked to a Youtube vid of an animation. "First Ever Animated Tattoo" is a misleading title.









The Pair did a couple-tat recently. One of the many that I can see on their body.



"When's your turn lah?"

"Want meh!?"

"A designer must have at least one lah..."

"... a pair of double quotes...?"



Some weeks later, we were having some beers after work. The suits brought two ladies from the mall management to join us. One of them had tats, which triggered the topic. Half a Macha has one on his left calf. Planning to get a new one, and asked if I want to join him. Despite being a little tipsy, the "double quotes" came into my mind again. A little more specific this time - at the front of my neck.

Why double quotes? Why neck? I didn't know, until recently.

Even the tat artist thought I was crazy for having my first one on the neck. Bro labelled me as "hardcore". The one-week anticipation is killing me. Even more when I'm lying on the recliner. Can't get any worst when Since Primary Two telling the tat artist to give me hell, while Fun Size standing outside the room giving me that smile.

With the needles buzzing closer and louder...



"Oh, fuck. Oh. My. Fuck..."






























Huh? What? That's it!?

It's not that bad after all! There are some spots which are more annoying than pain. To a point it's irritating. I have to stop chatting to hold my breath in. And don't believe everything you read on the Internet. "Neck is one of the most painful spot to have a tattoo.". Konon.

What's in between? Nothing. Just the Adam's apple. Just a self reminder.



"Don't keep too much things inside. Express more, Birthmark."



The reason why I started this blog in the first place.

Different people have different pain tolerance, but you can quote me for the painless process.

A small bit of China

Zoky was supposed to go with the then-boyfriend.

They broke up not too long ago. It's non-refundable. Needed a replacement on the queen. Yeah, how you all wished. She later changed the rooms to twins.

One photo a day for the five days I'm there.

Backyard garden of a once corrupted mandarin.

Bistros and pubs at Shanghai.

Wuzhen. An ancient water village.

Wuzhen at dawn. Traditional wedding exhibitions.

An alley at Hangzhou.

I'm back a happy man.

And don't ask. Nothing happened.