"Go toilet… (looking at me) Nak hisap?"
"Bro! You make it sound so wrong, wei! Never do that again!"
Baby Suit wanted to go to the loo, and planning to have a smoke after that.
Showing posts with label Dialogue Incorrect. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Dialogue Incorrect. Show all posts
10.7.13
Ubolt Sain
Was having a drink with Pilot 4+2 the other day.
Catching up and all lah. And so, watches came into the picture.
"Check out this watch brand – Ubolt."
"I didn't know Ubolt Sain came out with his own line of watches…"
"Wha… who?"
"The African athlete lah…"
Laughs came after the awkward silence.
He was talking about U-Boat watches.
And I got the runner's name wrong.
Catching up and all lah. And so, watches came into the picture.
"Check out this watch brand – Ubolt."
"I didn't know Ubolt Sain came out with his own line of watches…"
"Wha… who?"
"The African athlete lah…"
Laughs came after the awkward silence.
He was talking about U-Boat watches.
And I got the runner's name wrong.
11.8.12
Mindfucked chat
Remember my friend, Lei San San?
Besides annoying me with her "questions", another level of her mental torture are the random changes of topic. So fast and prompt, yet looked relevant at first.
We were chatting in Facebook the other day. She was stuck with the template in eBay.
"I still have no idea how to use eBay."
"Explore slowly lah..."
"Have to lor! But if I still don't know, can I ask you?"
"Er... I don't even know anything about eBay. I can't help much..."
"I mean, I will use Adobe to do the layout. If I still don't know, I'll ask you."
Oh! So she's asking about Adobe lah! Then this came right after.
"I send photo to you, okay?"
"Er... okay?"
She sent it through Whatsapp while still chatting in Facebook. So, I guess I'll have to transfer the photo from my phone to the computer before I can do any touch up?
"I got that. What you want me to help with?"
Oh! She just wanna share her baby's photo lah...
Really? I mean, really?
Besides annoying me with her "questions", another level of her mental torture are the random changes of topic. So fast and prompt, yet looked relevant at first.
We were chatting in Facebook the other day. She was stuck with the template in eBay.
"I still have no idea how to use eBay."
"Explore slowly lah..."
"Have to lor! But if I still don't know, can I ask you?"
"Er... I don't even know anything about eBay. I can't help much..."
"I mean, I will use Adobe to do the layout. If I still don't know, I'll ask you."
Oh! So she's asking about Adobe lah! Then this came right after.
"I send photo to you, okay?"
"Er... okay?"
She sent it through Whatsapp while still chatting in Facebook. So, I guess I'll have to transfer the photo from my phone to the computer before I can do any touch up?
"I got that. What you want me to help with?"
Oh! She just wanna share her baby's photo lah...
Really? I mean, really?
6.8.12
Chat emotion
The most commonly overused, sometimes, abused term on the Internet is "LOL". To those of you who still doesn't know what LOL is, you have my 5 minutes of silence. May you rest in peace.
LOL. Laugh out loud.
Yeah, right. How often do we actually made a single decibel when you typed that? Okay, okay! I'm guilty as charged.
I've never used "LOL". Mine was "hehe", and "haha". But the lips are as flat as the horizon. If they goes beyond the second "he" and "ha", I started smiling. With luck, might see some teeth and jerks.
The times when I actually "laugh out loud", with sound, I don't bother to type because I just can't. I'll make sure to enjoy the joke first, settle my cramps, and wipe my tears, if any. I'll shoot a random "hAhAhAHHAhhAhhA" to the joker after. Out of manners and courtesy lah.
It's hard to gauge what the person on the other end feels at times.
"Fuck you lah."
Cursing is common, off- and online. Up to a point the fucks doesn't make any difference at all. Take the above as an example, and interpret it into, say, Malay. It's more like, "Pantatmu~" for all we know. The tilde is there to give it a whimsical tone. How about Cantonese? It could be something along the line of, "Diu nei, mm koi~". So good manners. Tilde for the same effect.
If you are angry, tell me lah. I can't see you. I can't listen to you. Let me know. Stress your angerrrrr. Yes, that's right. Stress it!
"Fuck you lahhhhh!"
With exclamation, if you will!
Talking about punctuation marks, I have a friend who... how should I put it? Rather lazy to press the Shift button and question mark. As if that extra press will uses up most of her energy and strains her muscle. What really annoys me the most when talking to Lei San San is the one-liners. Please note that she came to me.
"Working"
"Oh, okay..."
"Busy"
"Er... okay..."
"I didn't go work today"
"Huh!?"
What are you trying to tell me!? Wait...
Oh! Who would have thought she was actually asking if I'm working and busy!? I've lost count how many times I was mindfucked. And for that many times, I've scolded her.
She is still, the same. Epic.
LOL. Laugh out loud.
Yeah, right. How often do we actually made a single decibel when you typed that? Okay, okay! I'm guilty as charged.
I've never used "LOL". Mine was "hehe", and "haha". But the lips are as flat as the horizon. If they goes beyond the second "he" and "ha", I started smiling. With luck, might see some teeth and jerks.
The times when I actually "laugh out loud", with sound, I don't bother to type because I just can't. I'll make sure to enjoy the joke first, settle my cramps, and wipe my tears, if any. I'll shoot a random "hAhAhAHHAhhAhhA" to the joker after. Out of manners and courtesy lah.
It's hard to gauge what the person on the other end feels at times.
"Fuck you lah."
Cursing is common, off- and online. Up to a point the fucks doesn't make any difference at all. Take the above as an example, and interpret it into, say, Malay. It's more like, "Pantatmu~" for all we know. The tilde is there to give it a whimsical tone. How about Cantonese? It could be something along the line of, "Diu nei, mm koi~". So good manners. Tilde for the same effect.
If you are angry, tell me lah. I can't see you. I can't listen to you. Let me know. Stress your angerrrrr. Yes, that's right. Stress it!
"Fuck you lahhhhh!"
With exclamation, if you will!
Talking about punctuation marks, I have a friend who... how should I put it? Rather lazy to press the Shift button and question mark. As if that extra press will uses up most of her energy and strains her muscle. What really annoys me the most when talking to Lei San San is the one-liners. Please note that she came to me.
"Working"
"Oh, okay..."
"Busy"
"Er... okay..."
"I didn't go work today"
"Huh!?"
What are you trying to tell me!? Wait...
Oh! Who would have thought she was actually asking if I'm working and busy!? I've lost count how many times I was mindfucked. And for that many times, I've scolded her.
She is still, the same. Epic.
5.1.12
Office romance gone wrong
"... but I really don't want to work with you lor!"
"It's really bad to have an affair with a co-worker!"
"It will affect the work lar!"
We're laughing our asses off on both our ends. Pun not intended.
Since Primary Two been thinking to quit. Looking for a brand new views. He asked recently if my place is looking. Though we are both in the creative industries, me in advertising, he in the fashion, our job scopes are fairly different.
The least I could do, as a bro, is to pass his message to my boss. It is still too early to tell where he will fit in. But these are the recent chat we had.
"hAhAhAhAhAHHAhhAhA... fucker you!"
"Later your Fun Size jealous how!?"
"We kasi komplot sama dia lar!"
Yeah. That's how we talk.
My daily supplements of laugh.
"It's really bad to have an affair with a co-worker!"
"It will affect the work lar!"
We're laughing our asses off on both our ends. Pun not intended.
Since Primary Two been thinking to quit. Looking for a brand new views. He asked recently if my place is looking. Though we are both in the creative industries, me in advertising, he in the fashion, our job scopes are fairly different.
The least I could do, as a bro, is to pass his message to my boss. It is still too early to tell where he will fit in. But these are the recent chat we had.
"hAhAhAhAhAHHAhhAhA... fucker you!"
"Later your Fun Size jealous how!?"
"We kasi komplot sama dia lar!"
Yeah. That's how we talk.
My daily supplements of laugh.
23.10.11
Popping the cherry
"Come here..."
"Hmm?"
"Help me poke..."
"Poke what!?"
"It's too tight! I can't get it in. Please?..."
Yup. I'm starting to be... a little naughty...
"Don't tell me you've never... tried before?"
"(Giving me the stare)... faster lah!"
"Okay, okay. Here... look... shove it in and out a few times *muka geram expression*... it'll get loose after a while... HAhAhAhhAhAhAhahahAH!"
Everyone burst out laughing the same time.
"(Controlling laugh) What you two poking about?"
"It's her lah! She never poke before!"
Diam-Diam just bought a new phone then.
She can't get the USB cable in.
"Hmm?"
"Help me poke..."
"Poke what!?"
"It's too tight! I can't get it in. Please?..."
Yup. I'm starting to be... a little naughty...
"Don't tell me you've never... tried before?"
"(Giving me the stare)... faster lah!"
"Okay, okay. Here... look... shove it in and out a few times *muka geram expression*... it'll get loose after a while... HAhAhAhhAhAhAhahahAH!"
Everyone burst out laughing the same time.
"(Controlling laugh) What you two poking about?"
"It's her lah! She never poke before!"
Diam-Diam just bought a new phone then.
She can't get the USB cable in.
26.2.11
The coupé apartments
"People started moving in already..."
I was in Since Primary Two's car at the traffic lights. We looked on to a relatively new apartments just by the overhead bridge on top of a mall. It was dark, with only few prominent lights from the living rooms, scattered randomly over the 20-, 30-floor building.
"What are those? Studio apartments?"
Spontaneously, he said,
"They've 2-door, 3-door... eh!?"
"HAHAhAhAhA! Coupé! Must be expensive!"
"... 2-door, 3-do... (short pause)... What is wrong with me!? Two-room! Three-room! Studios!..."
If those exist, I'll be looking for a 5-door Volvo / Hummer house. Looking at the break-in cases now, something tough would be nice.
I was in Since Primary Two's car at the traffic lights. We looked on to a relatively new apartments just by the overhead bridge on top of a mall. It was dark, with only few prominent lights from the living rooms, scattered randomly over the 20-, 30-floor building.
"What are those? Studio apartments?"
Spontaneously, he said,
"They've 2-door, 3-door... eh!?"
"HAHAhAhAhA! Coupé! Must be expensive!"
"... 2-door, 3-do... (short pause)... What is wrong with me!? Two-room! Three-room! Studios!..."
If those exist, I'll be looking for a 5-door Volvo / Hummer house. Looking at the break-in cases now, something tough would be nice.
2.6.10
Pump & come
"How deep you pump?"
"Depends on my need lah. You know, of how dirty I am."
"I pump all the way."
"All the way ar? That's a lot wei! You sure ar?"
"Yeah?"
"I pump half only. It's more than enough."
"But it really depends on people lah. Seriously."
"Yeah. Different people, pump differently."
"Like... maybe for you, you pump a bit, come out a bit lah."
"You just pump half way. Come out 'that' much."
"Pump all the way, come out a lot lah."
"You all don't simply pump ar!"
Quotes arranged are not in timely order. But seriously, every word, every sentence sounded so wrong. Tsk, tsk, tsk. And it was just some discussions my team were having for The Shower Foam TV spot ideas. I can't afford to missed posting this.
"Depends on my need lah. You know, of how dirty I am."
"I pump all the way."
"All the way ar? That's a lot wei! You sure ar?"
"Yeah?"
"I pump half only. It's more than enough."
"But it really depends on people lah. Seriously."
"Yeah. Different people, pump differently."
"Like... maybe for you, you pump a bit, come out a bit lah."
"You just pump half way. Come out 'that' much."
"Pump all the way, come out a lot lah."
"You all don't simply pump ar!"
Quotes arranged are not in timely order. But seriously, every word, every sentence sounded so wrong. Tsk, tsk, tsk. And it was just some discussions my team were having for The Shower Foam TV spot ideas. I can't afford to missed posting this.
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