All white

It's been two weeks since the agency moved.

That is one of the many excuses why I've been slacking off in writing. Packing, and unpacking is a very tiring thing to do, especially when you're juggling between ongoing jobs and pitches.

It was a Friday.

Yours truly is one the first batch that reported to work early in the morning. Yes. Deadlines. My Mac was setup even before the packed cartons arrive. The rest stayed back to oversee the movers with our belongings. Being a social media addict, I posted a pix to preempt the gang before they comes in after lunch.







We took over David in PR's office. They were moving a floor up. Coincidentally, they have a staff count of 23. We have 23 minus the Finance and IT. We, cramped in nicely. They left us a 5-year renovation, and workstations that come with built-in shelves and drawer – David is our sister agency under the same umbrella – you'll get the drift.

Oh. How's my old office looked like?

We've settled down. I have settled down.

I like the new office now.

Two wrong statements

When 2 statements should not be put into the same sentence.

"Go toilet… (looking at me) Nak hisap?"

"Bro! You make it sound so wrong, wei! Never do that again!"

Baby Suit wanted to go to the loo, and planning to have a smoke after that.

Ubolt Sain

Was having a drink with Pilot 4+2 the other day.

Catching up and all lah. And so, watches came into the picture.



"Check out this watch brand – Ubolt."

"I didn't know Ubolt Sain came out with his own line of watches…"

"Wha… who?"

"The African athlete lah…"



Laughs came after the awkward silence.

He was talking about U-Boat watches.

And I got the runner's name wrong.

That kid in school

Remember that kid you hated so much in class?

The one that complains and brings the parents after every single small thing? The one that raises hand the quickest for cikgu after being teased at? The one that reports you to pengawas and guru besar for the slightest of menace? The one that made you wanna lastik them so badly?

Yes. That kid! And that kid has now grown up.

So, what's this version of the "teachers' favourite" do in my agency? – Pulls the management card.

If only killing is not illegal.

A 5-feet text

We were exchanging texts.



"How you feeling, beautiful?"

"I feel sick…"

"There's this girl here with a red cardigan… she look pretty."

"Really? Prettier than me?"

"As pretty as you… Well, I can't decide. I might fall in love with her if it's not because of you…"

"Oh, man… you are so easily seduced… not loyal! Now I have to think twice!"

"Of course not lah. Like I've said, I have you already."

"You better choose now!"

"I don't have to choose! I'm yours! I love you."

"Love you too, B."

"How you feeling, my love?"

"Feeling worse. Which is why I'm here. Can we cuddle now? And scare the people around us?"



I went over to her just two seats away.

Baby was at the clinic after work waiting for me to get her. When I got there, there isn't any seat left. It wasn't dramatic of me moving beside her, but it did confuse a couple nearby.

Yes. She's the only one in red.

Things that company can never sell to me #16

Anything 3D.

3D TV. 3D movies. 3D whatever.

The thing is, you'll need a 3D glasses to truly enjoy those. Which I don't. I'm a full time specs guy. And no, I don't wear contacts. So? I will have to wear that 3D glasses on top of my glasses. Which is fucking ridiculous – I look like an idiot – from being a sei ngai zai, to a luk ngan kuai.

Until they've invented screen which can project 3Ds without the need to wear cheat with an eye aid, no money from me.

The day I ran

I ran a lot when I'm a child.

I'm excited about things. The dimension, and perspective is very different then. Need to get to places faster.

I never crawl. I'm the butt-slider baby. You know, babies that slide their butts to get to places? Yeah, the rare kind. Anyone has fetishes for knees? I have a nice pair. Ass lovers, sorry. They are not perky. Look elsewhere.

When I started to walk, it's a shocker.

I was playing with my toys at the living. There's something in me that tell me to get up. So, I pushed my toys aside. Stood up. And balanced myself. I made my first step. Second. Third. Pacing faster after each into the kitchen. Clumsily, but excited.

Can't wait to tell Mother.



"(While pulling her shirt) Mummy! Mummy! I can walk!"



I was not taller than the kitchen top. Mother almost screamed her lungs out. For the millionth times, Mother had tried to make me stand. All I do was just dropped down. And slides away. Mother said I'm afraid, at times, lazy.

I never stop ever since. That evening, I started to explore the house. Going around every corners. Every rooms. Every toilets. Simply a warm up session before the "actual" explorations. As if I already had plans what to do the next day.

Guess you know how Father reacts when he's back.

I was barely thirteen months old.

A million love

A million love, comes with a million fear.

Fear, for falling into a hole. With a million kisses deep.

Fear, for burning your skin. With a million touches warm.

Fear, for losing your breath. With a million clutches grip.

Fear, for taking a blow. With a million pounding heart.

Fear, for soaking a sleeve. With a million dripping tear.

For a million love, will too, one day, disappear.

Pint Rating System

We have a game that we play every tani sessions.

It is to rate how drunk are you to actually sleep with someone.

We rate it by the pint. From 0 pint to 4 – 1 being a little tipsy, 4 you are downed – anything beyond, you are either desperate, pervy, or unfortunately, spiked. No pint at all, meaning you can do him / her without touching alcohol – the angelic looking ones lah – but hardly the case.

As it was brought into practice, it got too obvious and too loud, especially into our 3rd pint. So, we created a code name for each.

0 pint: Pirelli. The tyre brand. It has a range called P ZERO.
1 pint: WiMAX. P1 WiMAX.
2 pints: Parking. Level B2.
3 pints: Dish. As in the Petri dish.
4 pints: Por favor. Please, in Spanish.

We also created a version exclusively for female.

0 pint: A meal will do. Breakie. Lunch. Dinner. Or anything in between.
1 pint: Vincci range.
2 pints: Zara. Topshop. Dorothy. And the like.
3 pints: Coach. LV. Prada. And others.
4 pints: Tifanny & Co.

So guys, when a girl say you are a "Tiffany", don't get too excited about it. You are just fugly.

Baby once asked after I told her about this game.



"So… What am I?"

"You are Pirelli-able!"

Tick tock

You can never recover lost time.

But when you're missing someone so badly, and counting the days till they are back at your side, you rather have no time at all.

I have two favourite watches. Both are Tissot. One classic. One automatic. I'd always complain about the automatic one being too fast – over two minutes difference per week – as compare to the classic, my handphone, and the clocks on the iPad, PC, and office Mac. Even Slow White Poke's clock does not differentiate that much.

This is one of the only few instances I wish the time is not accurate at all.

And it's only two days since.

Argh!